About Pep Talks and Discussions
by planless
Summary: [AU] Naruto is off on a date with Hinata, much to Sasuke's relief. A quick glance into the workings of a slightly dysfunctional shared flat. [OS]


**About Pep Talks and Discussions**

* * *

As long as Sakura can remember, Hinata has been in love with Naruto.

And as long as she can remember, her blond friend has been too preoccupied to notice.

Therefore she is nothing short of pleased when her teammate finally sees the shy Hyuga as something other than a friend and now is crushing on her. Hard.

"Hold still, Naruto, you idiot!" she admonishes firmly as she attempts to straighten out the collar of his shirt, but her gentle smile belies the harsh words. "I'm trying, Sakura!" comes the long-suffering reply. "But it's like that one time I parked my butt in an anthill!"

"Oh, don't exaggerate," Sakura scoffs and finally manages to tug his collar into something that looks a bit less like he has just fallen out of bed. Then she frowns as she realises why his shirt refuses to sit right. "You've got it on backwards, you loggerhead!" she exclaims in disbelief. Naruto whines in despair.

"How am I supposed to pull this off? Sakura, I can't go! You have to go and tell Hinata I'm sick or something! I'll -"

"You'll be sick in a minute if you don't stop fidgeting!" Sakura snaps and pulls at his sleeves. Obediently, Naruto wriggles his arms through them and lets her flip the shirt around so the front is front and the back is back, all the while rambling on in a nervous manner that makes her want to whack him over the head.

Instead, Sakura smoothes out his shirt once more until she is content with the way it looks, then runs her fingers through Naruto's hair a couple times to make it look less wild before stepping back, a pleased smile on her face.

"There," she says, shutting him up effectively. "You're good to go."

When all Naruto does is stare at her like a frightened rabbit, she gently cups his face and pulls him down to her eye level.

"Naruto," she begins. "You are going to walk out this door, and you're going to do fine. You're going to be on your best behaviour, and you won't mess this up - and even if you do, it won't matter! Hinata has been in love with you since forever, and I can tell you she's just as nervous about this date as you are. Now," she says and claps him on the shoulder. "Go get her, tiger."

Naruto closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then leans in to place an unexpected kiss on her cheek. "Thank you, Sakura," he smiles.

The front door falls shut behind him with a soft klick only to open again a second later to admit a tall man with silky black hair, a beautiful face, and the most disgruntled scowl in the history of Konoha plastered all over it. Sakura sighs and rubs a hand over her forehead.

"Thank god, I thought he'd never leave," Sasuke growls as he stomps past her through the tiny hallway into the kitchen, kicking off his shoes as he goes.

Frowning, Sakura follows him and watches as he wrenches open the door to the fridge and begins browsing the contents. "Don't be so hard with him," she says. "He's never been on a date before. Pancakes are in the oven."

There is a distinctive snort and some more aggressive rummaging before Sasuke reemerges from the depths of the fridge with a can full of spray cream, a jar of strawberry jam and the scowl still etched firmly onto his face.

"Yeah? Well, I had to bunk with Sai the past two nights because of Lord Jitters. My mood isn't exactly what you'd call agreeable. With Sai!" He shoots her a meaningful glare. " _Not. Pleasant."_

"You're never agreeable," Sakura replies with a roll of her eyes and moves to take the stack of warm pancakes out of the oven. Sasuke shoves the cream and jam into his pockets and reaches up to pull the chocolate spread from the shelf. He freezes for a moment, then deftly rips off the lid and peers into the glass. "Did Naruto eat all the spread again?" Sakura asks. Two seconds later, the empty container meets a sudden and violent death in the bin, glass shattering from the force of Sasuke's throw. "I take that as a yes."

Balancing the pancakes with one hand, she grabs a plate, knife and fork from the drying rack with the other and follows a grouching and grousing Sasuke into the living room where he is already pawing around between the sofa cushions, excavating Naruto's secret stash of chocolate-spread from its not-so-secret hiding place.

Sakura places both plate and pancakes on the table. "Too much of it isn't good for him," she muses with a frown. Unable to resist the temptation, she grabs the spray cream and drizzles some of it into her mouth.

Sasuke's couch-foray is met with succession and he slams an unopened jar of chocolate-spread on the table before plucking the can from Sakura's hands. "I'm almost positive pure cream isn't good for you, either," he states matter-of-factly.

"I'm a medic," Sakura shoots back, sitting down at the table. "I know what I'm about." " _Uhuu,_ " Sasuke makes sceptically as he plops into his usual chair. Helping himself to pancakes, he deftly covers them with chocolate-spread and cream. "That hangover last weekend begs to differ."

"How do you think the date will go?" Sakura asks thoughtfully, slowly sneaking one hand to where the spray cream is sitting alluringly next to Sasuke's plate.

"Don't know and don't care," he proclaims around a mouthful and moves the can out of her reach. Sakura pouts, but is somewhat mollified when he spears up a piece of pancake with his fork and offers it to her.

"Don't tell me you're not the least bit interested," she accuses after she's swallowed. Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Honestly, how do you expect it to go? He'll blunder it and make a fool of himself, but she won't mind and everybody will be happy."

Stuffing some more food into Sakura's face for good measure and also to postpone her unavoidable protest, he reaches for a new pancake and covers it in strawberry jam. "Even if he doesn't," he continues. "Her cousin will make sure something goes wrong."

"Neji?" Sakura asks surprised around her mouthful of pancake. "Why?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Because he's an overprotective bastard, that's why. Don't tell me you haven't noticed." "Surely he wouldn't go as far as to jeopardise a _date_?" Sakura scoffs in disbelief while leaning towards the fork full of pancake Sasuke is balancing her way. "Sure, you two are riding the same horse, but even you would know better than to - okay, scrap that."

The fork changes course and Sasuke eats the pancake himself.

He ignores her indignant huff, chews, swallows, then asks, "And what horse would that be?" Arching one eyebrow, Sakura reaches out to snatch up the can of spray cream before he can intercept. "Why, the horse of splendour and weightiness, of course. You both both think you're the pride of creation."

"I can't speak for the Hyuga," Sasuke says as he finishes off his plate before reaching for another pancake. "But as far as I am concerned it is true. I can't help my natural magnificence."

"However can you live with it?" Sakura asks sarcastically, mouth full of cream, and eyes his plate distastefully as he ladles both jam and chocolate-spread onto his pancakes. "That looks disgusting." "I was born with it," Sasuke replies in all seriousness, then jerks his chin at the can Sakura is holding.

"You'll get fat," she warns, but indulges his wish and pours what little cream is left over Sasuke's dinner.

"Totally worth it, after the disaster that is Sai's fridge."

"Why? He still hasn't cleaned the rotten eggs out?" "Oh no, he has. But he's replaced them with spoilt meat and the likes of it. And paint pots. Loads of them."

"Somebody ought to give him a crash curse on kitchen hygiene," Sakura mutters darkly. Before Sasuke can say anything, she adds, "And it won't be me." "Yeah, whatever," Sasuke shrugs as he tackles the last stack of pancakes. "I actually hope he keeps it up. It gives me hope he'll poison himself after all one of these days and die a slow and miserable death."

With a roll of her eyes, Sakura rises from the table. "Where are you going?" Sasuke asks, clearly suspicious. Snatching up a hair tie, Sakura throws her pink mane up into a messy bun that looks neither sexily rumpled nor adorably unkempt. It's just... messy. Sasuke raises an eyebrow at the hairstyle. "I want to see how Naruto is doing. And also make sure nobody interferes." She shoots him a meaningful glance before bending down to lace up her ankle boots.

Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Women. You always poke around in other peoples' business." "Shut up, jerk."

Grabbing a vest from the back of the couch, Sasuke tosses it Sakura's way, lips stretching into a pleased grin when it smacks her square in the face. "At least take a jacket," he advises, not doing anything to hide his glee. "It's cold outside."

" _Thank_ you," Sakura shoots back sarcastically, before shrugging into the garment. It is far too big and hangs off her slender frame like a potato bag. "I'm off. Don't wait up, babe."

Sasuke rolls his eyes at the cheeky nickname and she grins. "I wouldn't dream of it. I've got far too much sleep to catch up on. Did you know Sai snores?"

"No shit," Sakura scoffs. "He sleeps here more often than not. How could I possibly _not_ know, Sasuke?" He rolls his eyes again, and then scoffs back at her for good measure. "Go and do your snooping. Just make sure to tell me if the idiot fucks it up."

"Will do," Sakura tosses over her shoulder, already halfway out the front door. "And you have a nice nap! Or several."

"Just you wait and see," Sasuke murmurs, polishing off what remains of the pancakes. "I plan to straight up hibernate."

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 **A/N:** Just a little silly something that I had sitting around on my desktop for a while. I was originally planning to make it into a longer NejiSaku, but never got around to actually finish it. But I like the lighthearted banter that Sasuke and Sakura have going on, so I decided to post in anyways. Have fun reading!

Love, planless


End file.
